Thanks for all the responses guys, I really appreciate it.
I started using Process Lasso about two weeks ago and the last operation I got a steady 20 FPS pretty much. Sometimes dropped a couple of frames, sometimes jumped higher but overall it felt like a world of difference compared to the previous operation. When I launched ARMA I noticed my RAM usage jumped up quite a bit so I went ahead and shut down just about every program which share of usage would be bogging it down. This seems to have gotten rid of the stuttering and really low framerate but I'm not sure if 20-25 FPS is really acceptable for my computer's specs? I might just chalk it up to the server load and my CPU, in singleplayer I easily get 60-70 FPS. Not sure if I want to overclock with my current power supply.
I also tried all the little settings Nunes posted, see what that gives tonight. Again, thanks for the overwhelming responses, will see what happens tonight.